It frustrates me that people sit back and watch their sons and family abuse women. This is one of the norms in cultures that I really hate. I hate that women are treated like second class citizens and force at the back of the line of their families. The husbands don't respect the mother then the children grow up disrespecting their mother.
Male children that are raise in household where women are treated like trash grow up to treat their women like trash and at the same time they abuse their girlfriends and wives because that's all they know. You can't blame them for their bad behavior when that's all they know. They don't know any better.
Somehow I believe that when a child becomes a man he actually grows into his own man making his own decisions.As a man you will be held responsible for your actions despite past childhood surroundings and influences. I do understand that your surroundings shapes you and mold you but I also believe that a man conscience will lead him to know what is wrong from right despite culture, background, ethnicity and race.
It concerns me that time has change where women have fought for their place in society and around the world and men still want to beat them and treat like trash. Well, we are not going to tolerate it any longer because women bring life into this world. Women are the foundation of mother earth. We create life and we should be treated with lots of respect.
We birth presidents, senators, judges, lawyers, teachers, doctors, scientists, businessmen and the list goes on for miles. We are the pro creators of life. We are the foundation of mother earth. We birth life into this world and without women life will cease to exist.
Women should be celebrated all over the world not only on special occasion but everyday because no man knows how it feels to be pregnant for nine months and then give birth to an six to eight pound baby. Apart from giving birth then you have to be the one to raise the kids. Now you become the teacher, the doctor, the comforter, the consoler and everything for the child. From giving birth to the child it is never ending duties upon duties for the mother.
From birth our bodies go through change to the end of time. Women are the one to constantly experience monthly pains and this thing call the period. When you hit thirty years old then your body goes through another change. Then another ten years more changes. Our bodies are constantly changing on us. Oh, the pain and aches we go through onto death. Living as a woman is a very hard life.
When abuse occurs family and friends tend to draw their opinions. More often the judgement is to point fingers at the victim. It is always the victim which is the woman or wife that should have kept her house in order. It is always the victim that did something wrong.
In the home everyone is looking from the outside in and always points fingers at the women.
It is hurtful that we can condone and encourage such behavior.
Remember, selecting the appropriate mate is very significant to your life long journey. Selecting a male should never under any circumstances be taken lightly. Selecting a mate is based upon your ability to be the best judge of character.
The GREEN LIGHT to selecting the right mate:
Our struggles are far from over
We have a lot of ground to cover
We have eliminated an abundance of negativity
What has brought us through is our positivity
From the beginning of time we were non-existent
Constantly reminded of our insignificance
Never forgetting, our opinions were irrelevant
Conflicts and complications
Road blocks, pit falls, and confusion
We battle for recognition
With faith, time, and strength we’ve proven our
Finally, we have gotten appreciation
Tears cry out, tranquility
Sweat trails, prosperity
Our journey along the tunnel sounds
Oh, did I hear someone say it is because of love? Love should have made him support you in your journey. Love is not bitter, jealous or envious. Love is supporting your partner even if you think the idea is the craziest thing in this world. Every person needs a supportive mate. What happens when you are faced with the hurdles and the many pitfalls of life, and you need that shoulder to cry on and your mate doesn't show up - then what? This is going to be the most devastating time of your life, because you are going to expect that person to be there for you and he will not. Kick him to the curb!
Yes, I heard someone mumbling this question: What happens if the person you are with tricked you? My husband, spouse or boyfriend pretended to be the charming, sweet talker and smooth talker at the beginning of the relationship? After you have discovered his trickery, it is at all times your decision whether this person should remain in your life.
Remember, this is your life and you have to do everything vital for your own growth and survival. If this is not the right man, why keep this person in your life? As a matter of fact, if this person deceived you, why keep this person in your life to deceive you even more? Get rid of the problem in the early stages!
Don't go for the bad boy image. Bad boys deal with drugs, guns, run ins with the law and have very risky behavior. These are men that have identity problems and seek constant attention. Don't get involved thinking that their actions won't have any impact on you. It will affect you, if not in the short run, then in the future. Remember, these are men that have no limits to their behavior; therefore, expect headaches and turmoil.
I love the changing question that you ask yourselves. People can change, can't they? You honestly want to believe that people are going to change. Realize, if people don't think something is wrong with them doesn't necessarily mean they see something wrong with themselves. No one will change because you want them to change. People have to want to change.
Red Light/Green Light Selecting the Right Mate
Choosing the wrong mate can be the most devasting, destructing and damaging element to your growth. It can shake your entire world, shatter your entire being! Settling for second best brought me five years of an abusive marriage, a horrible separation for another two years, and finally my blissful divorce. Do you honestly want to experience such a distressing and overwhelming road?
Be cautious of the people you permit into your life. In choosing a mate, remember both parties have to be on the same page of life. If you are not, it is going to jeopardize your growth. This is an plain and simple as day. If your mate cannot support what you are doing and where you wish to go, he is not the one for you! Do I need to say more about this issue?
Never, ever sleep with someone who doesn't support your career. This is literally sleeping with the enemy. The enemy always comes with plans to destroy, tear down and devastate. Don't let anyone destroy what you have built or what you are building. My husband and I were total opposites.
He never thought my plans would amount to anything. He was the one holding me back. Do you want to go through life sleeping with someone who doesn't believe in what you are doing? Eventually you are going to get fed up and say, "Enough is enough", especially when you see the outside world is showing more appreciation than the people right in your bed. I say to give up! Why prolong a dead situation?
Stay tune for next week's post......
I know it hurts like hell that you endured a brutal, frightening and abusive relationship or marriage! I know it hurts like hell that your kids were exposed to such a traumatic and devastating ordeal. I know it hurts like hell that you are forced to raise your kids alone! I know it hurts like hell that you have become a single mom! Know you are not alone.
Like you, I was punched, kicked, cursed and beaten into a decision to leave! I became a single mom because I no longer wished to expose my daughter to such appealing behavior. Visualizing my daughters’ tears and sadness I couldn’t lie down and play dead to my situation. My daughter was relying on me to build a successful path for her. I had to shake off the hurt and pain and take the bull by the horns and start running the race. Frankly, I had no other alternative!
All mothers wish for their kids to be raised in an environment with daddy and mommy but unfortunately we can’t change the hand that is being dealt. Honestly, it is extremely devastating and at the same time challenging to come to grips with your situation because you are family orientated; however, being a single mom is not the end of the world. Our communities are filled with many strong, famous and successful single moms like Halle Berry and Erykah Badu. You will not be the first and certainly you will not be the last.
Life have pulled and pushed you in every direction and it is time to free yourself and break the chains. The tables have turned on you and you have to do whatever it takes to get back on track. The only way you can possibly get back on track is learning how to take a timeout to relax. Relax in that secret place by yourself!!! ME-TIME!!!!
As you relax your body, it is refueling, reenergizing and repowering. The best form of relaxation is meditation. Meditating is a technique used to relax the mind, body and soul. It actually shuts out all the worldly distractions and the negativity. Take a moment to be in a quiet room, sit back, close your eyes and picture a huge field with nothing but green grass. Picture the blue sky, the white clouds suspended in the air. Watch the rainbow in the back of the scenery. Observe the waterfall in the middle of the mountains and the birds flying around singing sweet melodies. Take deep breathes in and out. Take “self” into the dynamics of serenity.
I wish for you to live again for you and your kids. Open your eyes and acknowledge that you are an important commodity and you matter a whole lot. You were in an unhealthy and unsafe relationship and change had to transpire. You are now a single mom and it is not an easy task but you have to do whatever is required to raise your kids. Occasionally, you will feel the pressure and the ruthlessness of being a single mom and as a result when those times come upon you take a time out! Refuel, reenergize and repower and jump back in the race. You will make it!
BE AWESOME! BY KATHY ELLIOTT
Are you really living out your awesomeness? Many times people walk around and proclaim they are awesome but do they truly understand the philosophy behind awesomenss.
Your awesomeness is your own personal responsibility. You owe it to yourself to be AWESOME. Your awesomeness is not measured by what other people think or say. Your awesomeness is not calculated by your friends or family. It not up to a father, mother, brother, sister, wife or husband to help you find your awesomeness. Your awesomeness is determined by only you, point blank.
From birth you were blessed with incredible awesomeness. Each individual was touched with their own awesomeness but along the way call life you lost that awesomeness because of many encounters with negative surroundings and negative people. You can regain that awesomeness. You need to look within yourself and see the powers that were bestowed upon you. If you tap into these powers you will find the determination, strength, will power and endurance to reach your awesomeness.
Awesomeness doesn’t live off other people’s awesomeness. Awesomeness creates its own path and doesn’t copyright someone else awesomeness. Awesomeness has it own originality, freshness and creativity.
Awesomeness doesn’t settle to be ordinary. Awesomeness doesn’t settle for mediocre. Awesome doesn’t stand by and wait for others to bring about their dreams. Awesomeness gets down in the ditches and dig until they find a way out of no way.
Awesomeness understands that life will throw many curve balls and many roadblocks but no matter how many times awesomeness gets knock down it rises to the occasion. It was said a long time ago that when you fall down and you can look up, you can get up and get back your awesomeness.
As you tap into your awesomeness it is guarantee that you will shake mountains and move valleys. Your awesomeness will have an immediate influence and impact on everyone you come in contact with. People will gravitate towards you. If you proclaim to be awesome you have to let the awesomeness be evident in everything you do and say. From today onward, this is the new and improved you! Start living out your awesomeness!
Kathy Elliott is a powerful motivational speaker that focuses on changing lives. Creator of Women’s Motivational Services in New York which was founded in 2008 designed to help women find their purpose in life. She is author of several motivational books “Marriage Separation Divorce Regaining the Light”, “Success – Handbook for Teens/Young Adults, “Never, ever give up-13 Successful Principles to achieving your Dreams” ,“Domestic Violence Awareness-Real Life Stories and Be Awesome – Uncover Yourself.
She is a domestic violence awareness activist and speaker at domestic violence shelters monthly and hold a yearly fundraiser event. Kathy says “Life is a hell of a teacher and no matter what you are faced with you can never, ever give up.”